It is only recently that I have become apprised of the entry into the marketplace of these $45 stainless steel “Whiskey Bullets” from SipDark—these being replacements for ice meant to solve the so-called problem of dilution while simultaneously making you look like a confused, fantastically killable cowboy. These are far from the first reusable chillable implements to be sold—just a different shape. A bullet shape, because you’re a MAN who eats GUNPOWDER and SHITS CANNON FIRE, or so one would assume.
It’s hard to be too annoyed at this—I’ve long been a proponent of drinking your drink the way you drink it, damn the commentary—but I do feel like this particular shape is a little misguided. (Put them in your white wine, you craziest of crazy aunts!)
For future inventors, I offer this short list of other methods of chilling drinks that could work, but no one wants:
• A handful of cold change
• The tip of your little nose after coming indoors from a frosty winter’s day
• Nitrous oxide (wasteful)
• Frozen peas
• Screws and nails (choking hazard)
• Himalayan salt blocks
• Yeti teeth
• The cold grip of a sentient snowman
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