{"id":626,"date":"2015-02-16T15:04:48","date_gmt":"2015-02-16T22:04:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/?p=626"},"modified":"2015-02-16T15:04:48","modified_gmt":"2015-02-16T22:04:48","slug":"cold-metal-ways-not-chill-drink","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/cold-metal-ways-not-chill-drink\/","title":{"rendered":"Cold Metal, and Other Ways Not to Chill a Drink"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It is only recently that I have become apprised of the entry into the marketplace of these $45\u00a0<a title=\"stainless steel bullets from SipDark\" href=\"http:\/\/www.sipdark.com\/products\/the-original-whiskey-bullet\" target=\"_blank\">stainless steel &#8220;Whiskey Bullets&#8221; from SipDark<\/a>\u2014these being replacements for ice\u00a0meant to solve the so-called problem of dilution while simultaneously making you look like a confused, fantastically killable cowboy.\u00a0These are far from the first reusable chillable implements to be sold\u2014just a different shape. A <em>bullet<\/em> shape, because you&#8217;re a <i>MAN\u00a0<\/i>who eats\u00a0<em>GUNPOWDER<\/em> and\u00a0<em>SHITS CANNON FIRE, <\/em>or so one would assume.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s hard to be too annoyed at this\u2014I&#8217;ve long been a proponent of drinking your drink the way you drink it, damn the commentary\u2014but I\u00a0<em>do<\/em>\u00a0feel like this particular shape is a little misguided. (Put them in your white wine, you craziest of crazy aunts!)<\/p>\n<p>For future inventors, I offer this short list of other methods of chilling drinks that <em>could<\/em> work, but no one wants:<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Soapstone<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Ceramics<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Marbles<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 A handful of cold change<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 The tip of your little nose after coming indoors from a frosty winter&#8217;s day<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Nitrous oxide (wasteful)<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Frozen peas<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Screws and nails (choking hazard)<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 Himalayan salt blocks<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0Yeti teeth<\/p>\n<p>\u2022 The cold grip of a sentient snowman<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It is only recently that I have become apprised of the entry into the marketplace of these $45\u00a0stainless steel &#8220;Whiskey Bullets&#8221; from SipDark\u2014these being replacements for ice\u00a0meant to solve the so-called problem of dilution while simultaneously making you look like a confused, fantastically killable cowboy.\u00a0These are far from the first reusable chillable implements to be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":628,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[71,70],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=626"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}