I’ve heard about “think of the children”, but this is crazy.<\/p>\n
We look to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for a lot of things. Disease control, for instance. They are a trusted authority\u2014from their home base in Atlanta, they keep watchful eyes upon us all. We listen to them; when a scary specter like the Zika virus reveals itself on a grander scale all of a sudden, as from nowhere, we look to the\u00a0CDC’s guidance<\/a>\u00a0to calm us down, and steer us toward safety. You don’t\u00a0want <\/em>to\u00a0question their guidelines\u2014you want them to be right. So when the CDC makes some sort of proclamation, and your first thought is, “I smell bullshit”, the effect is disconcerting.<\/p>\n The CDC has never been particularly liberal about its views on drinking alcohol. You can look to its old guidelines for a taste of that. But you know what the CDC is saying now, exclusively to women as a matter of course?\u00a0“No birth control, no booze.”<\/a>\u00a0Full stop\u2014or at least that’s what it sounds like, from initial reporting. They aren’t doing a great job of clearing things up.<\/a><\/p>\n It’s actually sort of uncomfortable. I love speaking truth to power and all, but the hope was that the CDC was trending toward being more right-headed than this. This\u00a0is<\/em> the “CDC” we think it is, right? Not the “Catholic Diocese of Midtown Cincinnati?” Because somebody should check.<\/p>\n I wanna know who was on the panel that finalized these guidelines. I wanna see who voted. Because this reeks of typical selfish man shit, doesn’t it? Those swinging cods are trying to hog up all the liquor!<\/p>\n These no-fun-having squares\u2014you’ve gotta justify your numbers, guys. And I mean justify convincingly.\u00a0<\/em>There’s risk-to-reward ratios to consider. I mean, I know this work was probably done; I would like it to be done again. Or shelved. Because it’s getting ignored, man. These guidelines are getting very ignored. I mean, what else are they against, spitting in public? Nose picking? This stuff is gonna happen, guys, so you may as well stop bothering. You’re making everybody feel bad.<\/p>\n Look\u2014when it comes to life, you only get one chance. This is all you can be certain of. You don’t owe\u00a0shit<\/em> to your hypothetical future child. And the CDC are terrorists. It’s not even worth\u00a0having<\/em> children in a world without alcohol. What, you think it’s better to start pounding the bottle\u00a0after<\/em> your kid is born? Can’t imagine they’d advise that. It’s starting to sound like the CDC doesn’t want women drinking at all!<\/p>\n I say screw it. Until you know you’re pregnant, I think you should drink as much as you can. Mama’s not out here trying to raise no baby that can’t handle their shit.<\/p>\n *Disclaimer: Allow me to be unambiguous\u2014I am not a medical practitioner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’ve heard about “think of the children”, but this is crazy. We look to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for a lot of things. Disease control, for instance. They are a trusted authority\u2014from their home base in Atlanta, they keep watchful eyes upon us all. We listen to them; when a scary specter […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":4598,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[146,68,55,1350,430,57,1351,67,81,166,1352],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4597"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4597"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4597\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4598"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4597"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4597"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4597"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}