{"id":1342,"date":"2015-03-14T02:28:25","date_gmt":"2015-03-14T08:28:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/?p=1342"},"modified":"2015-03-14T02:28:25","modified_gmt":"2015-03-14T08:28:25","slug":"drinking-with-pets-great-idea-or-greatest-idea-and-yes-theres-a-picture-of-a-cat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brutalhammer.com\/drinking-with-pets-great-idea-or-greatest-idea-and-yes-theres-a-picture-of-a-cat\/","title":{"rendered":"Drinking With Pets: Great Idea, or Greatest Idea? (and yes, there’s a picture of a cat)"},"content":{"rendered":"
Do you have a pet? Or do you have a charismatic plant or a coat rack that you dress up and talk to? You know, just to avoid the crushing weight of permanent loneliness? Of course you do!<\/p>\n
But have you ever wanted to drink<\/em> with that cat\/dog\/oddly communicative lizard that totally gets you\/aloe plant that reminds you of your personal failures\/sassy coat rack that won’t keep its political opinions to itself? Of course you have! Sometimes I wonder why I even ask.<\/p>\n The age-old tradition of drinking alone has long been misunderstood, maligned more often than not<\/a>, and typically written off as a symptom of a drinking “problem.” As if we weren’t already very, very good at the solo exercise of Drink. Of course, those screeds have been penned by the same sort of people you’d never want to spend a solitary minute with in a pub, let alone ones you would ever possibly want to get good and out of your skull with in private. As do you, I have much to say on the subject, but I defer to FKR’s essay on the matter<\/a> for the time being. (But seriously, leave your opinions in the comments. This is a goddamn dialogue.)<\/p>\n And yet there is another product on the market that can only be seen as one of two things: either 1) something that is symptomatic of our refusal to acknowledge pets as members of their own species, opting instead to treat them as small and hairy versions of lovably dumb humans; or 2) a gross perversion of the craft of booze in the desperate attempt to simultaneously buy into and attempt to negate the charge that drinking alone is a bad thing.<\/p>\n This article is about cat wine<\/a>. Apparently this is a thing that Japan (because of course it would be from Japan) developed some time ago, but there is now a US-based…vintner?…animal rights objectionist<\/a>?…who thinks that we need a way to incorporate cats into our drinking routines. Now, I may be trolling for a lawsuit after a few<\/a> of my other<\/a>\u00a0previous\u00a0articles<\/a>, but this just seems insane. Insane to the point that I think Crimes Against Drinking are being perpetrated here.<\/p>\n The premise of cat wines is that they’re non-alcoholic (so step off, PETA), but they do contain catnip<\/a>, which is either the kitty version of straight moonshine or quality LSD, depending on your experiences with either or just with cats that get into it and go fucking nuts<\/a>. Without a first-hand opinion, we’re left in the dark a bit about the subjective truth of it, but we now have a kinda-wine product to waste money on in order to get a cat drunk…or high…or whatever. It doesn’t matter because it’s nonsense.<\/p>\n